Exist

My heart beats your name, a name chosen before your life ever began

I can’t wait to hold you, my precious Braelyn ReAnn

My mouth refuses to speak at only the dream of you

I would give away all my dreams, if only this dream would come true

If only my prayers could build a bridge long enough to pull you from the heavens

But nothing seems to work, I have been praying, I have been begging

Life is taken for granted, but I’d give mine in an instance

If only I could breathe you into existence.

I have your nursery all picked out, if only you could see it perhaps you would travel

through time

Full of pinks, flowers, butterflies, dolls, rocking chairs, and toys of every kind

I have wished upon every star, I would jump over the moon, and shoot down the sun

I would do whatever it took, I would undone all the bad that I have ever done

I have followed every rule, even desperately believed in superstition

If talking would bring you here, I would bend every ear that would listen

Life is such a struggle, I have prayed, screamed, clenched my fist

I would do anything if only I could make my precious baby exist

I have your favorite books, just waiting to be read

But they sit upon a bookshelf gathering dust instead

I have my favorite Disney movies waiting to be seen

Wonderment awaiting upon every single screen

I have every word of every book, every show memorized awaiting your request

If you will give me the option, I promise your mommy will be the very best

Life is a gamble, but I would cash it all in, you are worth the risk

What I would do to make you a reality, to have you simply exist

I have tea parties, the dishes, the dolls the whole nine

What I would do to hear you say, “Grandma, it’s tea time”

To see the smile on your Grandma’s face as she joins you for tea for two

Although you haven’t met, she’s already madly in love with you

Your daddy has camo all picked out for you, and god only knows what else

But he longs for you already, for you to become an extension of himself

Life is a miracle, something that the deserving don’t understand how fragile it is

But I would gladly give my life, to showcase a miracle, just to see you exist

I would give all my heart, my soul, my breath, my life if that is what I need to give

There is nothing in my power I wouldn’t offer up just to make you live

If I had to perish to give you breath, I would die happy at my sacrifice

Never regretting my decision to simply give you, my darling, a life

I know his time isn’t our’s but I will pray until my clock runs out of time

But I won’t give up faith until the day that I can say my baby is mine

You will be perfect, with a face no one can resist

What a day it will be, when everyone sees the miracle God made exist

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