Date (to be determined)
Today, is the day that you meet me. Auntie A has been talking non-stop about you, and I am so very happy God chose you to be my mommy! I asked her to write a few things down for me.
I know you are counting all my fingers and my toes, and will be delighted to know they are all there and perfect. You are surely gazing down upon my face, trying to memorize every flutter of my eyelashes, every sneeze, sound, each expression……Auntie says that is totally normal, although I am not sure how I feel about someone staring at me for extended periods of time. I will however, allow this behavior because I am going to be staring at you too. I am anxiously awaiting the moment that I can put a face to the voice that I have heard these last 9 months. I have listened intently at the lull of your voice as you go about your daily tasks. I cannot wait to look into the big blue eyes that your sister raves about, and that smile is sure to put the sunshine to shame. I cannot wait to breathe in the smell of you as we snuggle close.
I am certain that you are both delighted and a bit terrified at this new endeavor, although I know that you would never admit that it is scary. I want you to know, you won’t break me…I am pretty durable. I may cry and there will be times that you will have no idea what is wrong or how to make me stop…..rest assured, I will eventually stop and you have not failed as a parent. Try not to be too hard on yourself when I am especially cranky and you cannot find the solution to my mood. There will be days that you will wish for sleep, and instantly feel guilty for wishing for something so simple….welcome to parenthood. Aunti A has told me countless times that the one thing no one shares with new mommies is the guilt……whilst I know nothing of this emotion called guilt, I have drawn the conclusion it is something that a mommy feels about everything. That sounds pretty exhausting!
She told me that you will feel guilty for not holding me enough, for holding me too much, for letting me cry it out, for not letting me cry it out, for not co-sleeping with me, or guilty if you do…..sounds like a lose-lose situation….I want you to do something, for me, when you are feeling this way, just stop and look at me. I am fine! If you need to catch some zzz’s then ask for some help, if you want to let me cry for a little bit, it will not hurt me. If you feel the need to hold me then pick me up. Nothing that you do will traumatize me for life, I promise! I already know I am loved! If you need some time with Daddy, call in an assist, my parents need their time too, and it will make you stronger as a couple. If you want to spend the whole day holding me, I will gladly oblige.
Today, I meet my mommy! This day, I see the gorgeous face that will guide and love me throughout my life! In this moment I meet my first friends; you and Daddy! I know we will share so many adventures. I have no doubt the future holds great things. So stare at me if you want, be enchanted by me, breathe me in, trace each delicate feature……for today, Auntie A says you meet the greatest love of your life…me! Look what you and Daddy made with the love you share…isn’t it miraculous? Your love made me. This is the moment you get to see if I have your moon shaped eyes, or his, if I have his smile or yours. You get the answer to all those questions. I get to see the faces to the voices I have heard all this time, and I feel pretty blessed. I cannot wait to be in your arms!
I promise to love you forever and always,