Teaching Me

Motherhood teachings by my daughters: Today was a good day…as a day can go when you have kiddos. There were a few snags, fights, and quarrels but overall everything was smooth sailing….until around 11 this morning when Brynlee was playing with her doll and Braelyn decided that she wanted it….well, both my girls are strong willed and so the fighting ensued…in which Braelyn punched Brynlee! Well, I discourage violence but kids will be kids. So, I kissed Brynlee’s boo boo and told her she would be okay and then put Braelyn in her room to “think about her behavior then she could apologize to her sister!”
Braelyn was raising a commotion and screaming…and then silence..Hmmm…I thought I am brilliant; all this time out stuff is finally working. So after a few minutes I walked down the hall and heard the soft sound of Brynlee’s voice, “It okay, Sissy….shhhh” Braelyn was crying, “Mommy, make me go to da time out! I not want to go to dat time out!” Brynlee was consoling her and said, “You get up in just a minute, baby. It okay, honey! Here Sisser, you hab it! Don’t cry..” Both girls were oblivious as I stepped into the room and witnessed one of the sweetest things I have ever seen. Brynlee was stroking Braelyn’s back, and was snuggled up to her attempting to rock her…and there in Braelyn’s lap was the baby doll she had wanted. The very same doll that Braelyn had wanted so badly…Brynlee’s favorite baby doll…the doll that had caused all the chaos and the reason Braelyn had hit Brynlee! Yet, not even five minutes later, the fact that her sister had hit her, and tried to take her toy…it was all forgotten. In that moment all that mattered was her sister was crying and she wanted to fix it. Already, she had not only forgiven her but had gifted her with her favorite toy! That is the beauty of babies….no grudges, no hatred, no bitterness, just love and forgiveness! As adults, we hold tight to grudges of those who have wronged us, when we see them hurting we often think, “That is what you get for hurting me!” But in the pure heart of a child when someone they love hurts them, they forgive, and when someone is in need of comfort they give it to them….today that need was a baby doll with wild hair, a kind word, and a comforting hug from her sister! Be slow to anger, and quick to forgive, that is the lesson they taught me today!

Hide and Say You’re Sorry

Braelyn was hiding from Brynlee…and she was being REALLY quiet behind the couch for like thirty minutes! Brynlee kept coming in the living room asking me where Braelyn was; I told her she ran away. Brynlee got really serious and said, “I want her to come back!” I said, “Nope, she’s gone forever because you two can’t stop fighting so she ran away!” Brynlee gets tears in her eyes and says, “I not fightin’ with her!” I reply, “you were before she ran away!” She looks down at the floor then back up at me with HUGE crocodile tears and whispers, “Mommy, can you go and find her?” So I ask her why I should find her….she mutters, “Cause I miss her and I want to kiss her face!!!!!!” Gosh, I love these kids even when they drive me crazy!

True love

True love is giving up your last piece of bacon! My girls fight like any other siblings but when it comes down to it, their love for one another is the sweetest thing I have ever witnessed. Braelyn and Brynlee LOVE bacon (one of few things I can get them to eat) So I fixed them a plate of bacon this morning and they got down to the last 2 pieces. Brynlee took one piece, Braelyn looked at the plate, noting there was one piece left. She waited for her sister to eat her piece, (I could tell Braelyn wanted the bacon) after brynlee finished eating her piece, my sweet Brae looked at her, handing her the last piece, and says, “Here Dinky Do, you can have the last piece. You is little and you need to grow big. If you still hungry you eat it!” Brynlee said her belly was full and I told Brae that she could eat it and I could make more. Sweetest gesture ever. Just when I wonder if I am doing everything right as a parent, they do something like that and I know I am either doing something right or I just have the best kids in the world!

My Sister, My Friend

A little girl kneels to pray at the foot of her bed
“God, please give me a sister,” she says as she bows her
“I won’t ask for anything else, if you will make this one
prayer come true!”
That little girl was me, and God gave me you
God made us sisters, but love made us friends
Someone to turn to when no one else understands

You came along and I was no longer just a little girl
Because to my little sister, I was her whole wide world
She thought I knew the answer, when no one else did
It never occurred to her that I was only a kid
God made us sisters, but love made us friends
It’s amazing how someone so small held my heart in the palm
of her hands

I was never alone, it seemed you never tired of being at my
You thought you could do everything I did, and you certainly
I would watch as you tried to make me proud, by doing the
things big girls could do
I was always proud but you were growing up and I wasn’t
ready to let go of you
God made us sisters, but love made us friends
Someone to share life as a chapter closes, and a new one

Sometimes late at night I would awake and find you there
Snuggled in the bed with just me, you and your teddy bear
I would lay awake and look down at you as you slept
I’d think of all the love I held for you, all the secrets
you kept
God made us sisters, but love made us friends
A part of yourself to turn to when your world ends

I wish that I could capture our childhood and hold it for
just a little while
Perhaps I would capture a moment, or perhaps just your smile
I’ve prayed that I could rewind time, or make the hands of
time stop
But I know that all the prayers that could be answered, none
could surpass the sister I’ve got
God made us sister, but love made us friends
Sisters are a part of you from the beginning to the end

I can’t replace the mistakes I’ve made, but I have faith
that you know what you are chosen to do
So, though it is hard to let go, I put my total faith in you
It is completely selfish to hold on to something that is
born to fly
So I will let go, and I know you will touch the sky
God made us sister, but life made us friends
So, I will be here for you as part of my life closes, and
your’s begins

Prologue: I wrote this for my sister’s yearbook. It was such a heartwrenching time for me. Thinking of her all grown up and all on her own. I was filled with pride, and sadness. I missed the days that we could never get back. There is nothing like a sister!

Sisters in the Snow

Just came in from playing in the snow with my girls! I usually hate the cold weather…..but what better to warm your heart than two little girls playing in the snow? Throw in a senior lab, who for a glimpse in time is once more a puppy. Hank was leaping and bounding with the girls into the pillowy clouds of snow. Braelyn built a tiny snow man, and Brynlee built one bigger than her…..So representative of my girls personality, Braelyn’s little snowman was meticulously precise. It was tiny, and quirky, just like her. Brynlee’s mantra in life is the bigger the better! (which matches her small demeanor and BIG personality) Her’s was so large that her tiny arms needed help reaching the head to place the carrot in it’s nose!
Long after Brynlee had finished her’s she proceeded with pegging me with snowballs, then they tag teamed me in an epic snow ball fight!
Braelyn was enchanted by the beauty of the snow, captivated she ran her tiny hands through it, threw her head back to watch the way the sun danced on the white crystals, I could see her soft breaths taking in the freshness of the moment….oh the beauty of a child’s heart.
Brynlee was not the observer; she was active in the moment. Rolling in it, crawling through it, throwing it, and tasting it! My tactile child, my introvert who needs to feel her surroundings.
Between the wads of snow I was transcended to a different time and place…outside on a blustery winter day with my sister! I cannot count the number of snowmen we made, the number of snowballs we launched at each other, but mostly I remember the laughter! The way it rang through the air, bouncing through the fresh snow and falling back into my ears like musical notes in the air. For but a moment, I was overwhelmed, for my love for them, the love they have for each other, the love I have for my sister!
Time stood still, in front of me were the two greatest loves of my life, but for a second they were two little girls from yesteryears. They were just taking in the joys of childhood. The only care in the world was keeping our hands and feet from frostbite! Braelyn even had my sister’s old coveralls on…..I willed myself to remember this moment, to store it away for a day when they are grown, and these days have passed. I felt a lump build in my throat at the realization of how quickly that day will arrive. Was it not yesterday that it was my sister and I? Too soon I will have to recall these memories instead of make them…the thought breaks my heart. It makes me miss my sister, it makes me miss these little girls who will surely grow up against my will for them to stay small, and it makes me eternally grateful for yesteryears, and the here and now!
So, in rememberance of today and all those that passed, I taught them how to make a snow angel. Watching their excitement at the tiny angel imprints they created. I saw my sister there, me teaching her this very thing, and when Braelyn looked up at me a tear slid down my cheek. Never in my life can I go back to the days I shared with my sister, but my girls get to share this gift, and I get to relive it through them….and that is my gift…Sis,┬áif you were here I would build a snowman with you, and then throw the world’s biggest snowball at you!!!!!! Miss you every second!