Today, a Mommy is Made

06/20/2016

Dear Sissy,

I cannot believe this day is upon us…it feels both like only yesterday that I was looking upon your face for the first time and like a lifetime waiting for this new addition all at once. It feels like you made me wait an eternity to join the “aunthood” but then again, it doesn’t seem real that you are grown enough to be a mom.

This is the day that not only your son is born…but you are born anew as a mommy. Never again will you look at life the same way. You will be forever changed in this moment, and there is no other day that you KNOW that is the day you will meet the love of your life…….only the day you give birth, that is exactly what you do….so if you never believed in love at first sight, you will in just a few hours.

I cannot explain to you, the depth of love that will course through your veins for such a tiny being. A little person you will love, cherish, venomously protect without even trying, you just morph into this new creature. There will be moments you will just gaze at him while he sleeps, capturing, tracing, and memorizing every single feature. A new emotion will wash upon you, catching you unaware…..an emotion so consuming you will be startled at the complexity, the sheer depth of it. You are both happy, and sad. Happy to be holding this amazing gift and terrified of the day that he will undoubtedly grow up. Without thought, your eyes will quickly fill up, and tears will unabashedly roll down your face…..be prepared for that feeling for it will come often during your motherhood.

There will be instances that he is crying, and no amount of shushing, rocking, cuddling or any other home remedy will quiet him. In that second you will feel utterly helpless, scared to death, exhausted and you will even question if you were cut out for this job……hold tight, Sissy, you were made for EXACTLY this moment. Because that split second you think you have tried everything and nothing works……until something does and you will look down to what a minute ago was a child you would have sworn was possessed and it has suddenly been replaced by this angelic little cherub. His eyelashes will flutter closed, they will brush his round cheeks, his soft hair will look like feathers from an angel’s wings, his tiny mouth will look like the most perfect rose bud, his fist will rest upon your chest and your heart will slam against your ribs until you think you will die from the love that envelopes you. The water works will surely follow as you will berate yourself for the impatience that you had felt only minutes earlier…..do me a favor, mom to mom, give yourself a break! You are doing a great job, you are not feeling anything that every other mother has not felt a thousand times, so cut yourself some slack.

You won’t want to but you will compare him to every other child his age, worry if he is an over-achiever (I am betting he will be) or if he is lagging behind. STOP, just stop right now. No matter if he is the first to get up and walk, or say his first words before every other child you know……what you don’t realize until the moment passes is that you will immediately want that moment back. You will look down at him one day all lathered in baby magic lotion, all soft from his bath, napping in his diaper…and I promise you, you will blink and the next he will be potty trained, only coming to you when he needs foodlol. Now, with that being said, I know you will be afraid to blink……and yet you will be so bone tired that you just want to close your eyes. Living through both of these afraid-to-blink and bone-tired phases, simultaneously, let me ease your mind….I tried and you HAVE to blink, and the bone-tired thing…….I am still there, I will let you know the verdict on when that stops. I worried endlessly with the girls making milestones, and then when they did I wanted the baby that they had left in it’s wake back. I watched with equal parts of pride and sadness as both of my girls bridged the gap between infancy to toddler, and then from toddler to little girl……and I still cannot tell you how that happened, when it happened or why it happened so quickly.

You will get lots of unsolicited advice, take it all in stride, blow off the bits you cannot use, and pick up the pieces that might come in handy. As a mom, I will tell you that your child will teach you way more than all the fretful advice from other mothers or any self-help/parenting books. The truth is you will worry, and I can tell you now not to, but you will anyways. You will worry he isn’t eating enough, sleeping enough, that you aren’t good enough, that you are being too easy, or too tough……and guess what???? In the end of it all, the important stuff, he will let you know what he needs. Parenting is a lot of dancing, taking turns listening to his cues, reminding him to follow your lead when needed and meeting somewhere in the middle….when he is hungry, he will cry. When he is sleepy he will cry……and sometimes you will be so sleepy you will cry with him (amazing enough, I found this method the most useful……..when they start crying and I cry with them….every time they stop and look at me like, “what are you crying about). There will be nights you swear that you are going to put him back in his bed for the 1000th time even when you are so exhausted you know that you will probably cave just for a few blissful moments of shut eye….and that is ok, too! You will be your own worst critic, do not be ashamed to tell your inner dialogue to shut the hell up sometimes……because at the end of every day, I remind myself, my kids are safe, tucked in bed and I am somehow in one piece……and that in my book is 100% success for the 7 years I been doing this, everyone is still alive and intact. Take your small victories!

I won’t lie to you, it is the most difficult, earth-shattering, literally EYE opening (in the way you will never take for granted the wonder that is so simple and impossible as closing your eyes to sleep) experience you will ever be gifted. You will stumble, you will doubt, you will worry, you will feel guilty about EVERYTHING……didn’t hold him enough, held him too much, he fell down and you should have caught him, you were snappy when you wish you had been patient, you rushed him to bed without a bed time book…….and you will do this every single night……but here is the awesome thing….you did the best you could, and if you fall short, you get to try it again tomorrow, and the next!!!!!!! I will promise you this, each night you will think you should have done more, could have done better…..AND THIS is what makes you a great mommy….because you will never be enough in your mind for this treasured little guy, OH BUT YOU ARE. In the morning, when the sunlight creeps through the window, his eyes flutter open, he lets out a sleepy sigh as he stretches to start the day….YOU will be the best part of his day, his first thoughts will be of you!!!!!

Best advice I can give you is love his daddy, and let him love you, everyday make that commitment….just this simple thing will right so many wrongs in his world. After all, you and Kevan are the roots that he grows from, you two are partners in this whirlwind we call parenting. There will be days that roll into one, and each of you will be wearing the same outfit, perhaps even questioning when you slept, ate, showered last. During these times, emotions run high as your energy runs low……be sure to know it is okay to ask for help, to realize you need some time just the two of you, even if that means a well deserved nap together. (I will just insert right here that you have a free babysitter and you call her sister). Find the humor in these moments when you are wearing Rhett’s spit up and Kevan just got peed on for the 3rd time today. Because that man, the one by your side, that will be your teammate for the indefinite future, raise him up, remind him how great he is to brave this adventure with you. Trust me it comes so easy to take your spouse for granted and you won’t even know you are doing it….you both share this amazing, wonderfully beautiful love story, and now you get to co-write the one that will be Rhett’s childhood, make it a great one, and I know you will! The day will come when your son will be grossed out by public displays of affection, hand holding in the mall will be frowned upon, and dancing in the kitchen will be met with an eye roll and some smart remark…..DO IT ANYWAYS! Because this is the way he will love his partner, and if he is honest he takes joy in those moments, it reassures him that his parents love one another.

All of this, I am telling you not to scare you, but to prepare you although I know you will do famously! I also want to forewarn you that the once control your emotions piece of you, well it will go out of the window, the moment he is placed in your arms. You will cry over everything, nothing and anything when it comes to your child. Keep a box of tissues handy, the tears are never predictable, they will be joy and sorrow, and happiness with a tinge of sadness….it comes with the turf. Just the sight of them can launch a veritable water works with no warning at all.

I am always here, if you need to laugh at yourself, cry, vent, tell me every detail of every part of his day……and I will be glad to hear it. All of the newness of a mom is such a blessing and even the smallest nuisances will be greeted by you as miraculous milestones, his first smile, yawn, frown, laugh…..MIRACLES! I am here to listen to each minuscule detail, and I promise I will never tire of not only hearing about him but also sharing each step of the way.

Enough for today, I got to save some of this for our future mommy club blogs. Today, you meet the love of your life, who knew you would get more than one??? Today, Fidget will be born, but also, today, you will be born anew, as a MOMMY! Never again will you be same as you were the night before him. You are a new creature, you are forever changed, you are tougher, softer, all at one time. No worries, you didn’t stop being you…..nah, you are just a better version of yourself (if that is even possible). You are now a mommy and all the duties and pleasures that it entails! Welcome to the Mommy club, I am so happy you joined me!

So this day when you are staring down on your precious baby, he is staring up at you, and you will wonder if anyone has ever looked at you with such intensity…..the answer is no. He is seeing the face of the voice he has heard all this time, and is he in for a treat when he sees the beauty that he will get the privilege of calling his mom. He will be entranced with you, as you will him. Remember this moment, when his little body curls up to you and breathes you in, as he starts to go limp with the joy of peaceful sleep upon your chest. He will look at you like he is looking into your heart, because he is a part of your heart! He will gaze at you as if to say, “I am helpless, I depend on you……..” and you may tremble a little that this tiny person relies only on you and his daddy….but if you look at him, you will not see fear upon his tiny face, you will only see faith that he knows you will do just fine. His eyes will look upon your face although he can only see shadows, he will instinctively know you are Mommy. This day, he meets his Mommy, the one with a smile like a summer day, eyes the color of the deepest ocean, hair as golden as the sun and he will know that he is a lucky little guy!!!!!

Enjoy this day, there is no other day that compare to the day your child is born, or the day that you make the transformation of a woman to a mother. Relish in it, dance in it, stare at him, hold him, take a million photos…..it is your right. And you know how you have relentlessly teased me about being the certifiable aunt???? I have no doubt today, you will join me in the certifiably crazy club…..and the best part is no one will even question your sanity because when you are a new mom….well, sanity is not a requirement, matter of fact get used to being slightly off from here on out 😉 Congratulations, my sister, today your baby will be put in your arms, and you will never want to let him go..no worries you don’t have to…unless I am there! LOL On this day you will feel like the luckiest girl in the world….and you are, but so is that beautiful piece of heaven in your arms. I cannot wait to watch you master this mom thang! (try not to show your old sister up too much lol) I love you and your new little family with all of my heart.

Welcome Officially to The Cerifiably-Crazy Mom Club!!!!!

Prepare for the baby snatching sister……aka,

Auntie A

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s